Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
