i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
