I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
