I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
