Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
