dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
