She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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