I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
