This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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