whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
