i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
