i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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