I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
