Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
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