Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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