you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
