I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize