I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
