well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
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