You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
birth control should be required to get into college
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
