If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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