hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
