I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
