what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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