I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
