At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
how drunk are you?
Several
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
