The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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