his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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