I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
