I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
