apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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