I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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