I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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