we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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