This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
