i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
