I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
