My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
