If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
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Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
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So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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