I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
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Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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