I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just found puke in my bra..
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
