so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
