These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
