If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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