Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
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Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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