epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
