the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
