Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I think my moral compass just broke
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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