The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
