My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
