New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
