Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
