Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
