And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
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I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
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I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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