Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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