Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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