i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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